The Cynics Prayer

Pulled from the story of a woman's conversion in the car after being an alcoholic for 25 years.

 

OK, God, I give up. I'm Yours if You want me.
I don't care how awkward I might feel talking to You, or about You.
I don't care how much trouble I have accepting some of the teachings.
I don't care that my entire former self-image was wrapped up in the "party girl" persona.
I don't care if some Christian music is treacle and the lyrics contrived.
I don't care what havoc may have been wrought in Your name in the past, or what may be in the future.
I don't care if some of Your flock seem hypocritical or self-righteous or sanctimonious.
I don't care if there are times when I can't feel Your presence.
I don't care if loving You means I have to at least attempt to love myself.
I don't care if friends roll their eyes and laugh at my conversion.
I don't care if I feel like a faker sometimes, and I don't care if it's harder to do Your will than it would be to follow my own desires, and I don't care if I'm less than perfect at it.
None of that matters. I give up. I want You. And I'm Yours, if You want me.

 

 

Some Pictures of July

"I never realized how much I like being home unless I've been somewhere really different for awhile..."~Juno.

What have I been up to since I've been home. NOT BLOGGING.

DOOING. Which is nice. And maybe a little more normal. My camera lens is cloudy I think so these are a little blurry...but here is a snippet of Baby Tour 2008.

Meet Elsa Rindal.

Meet Isaac ChouMeet Isaac Chou's rear end. (Dad is so proud).
Meet Amelia Wilson. Meet Ruby, and Sadie Coalier, and Riley Hogan.
Meet Taylor and Sophie.

Taylor's "ant" face.

Meet James. He likes orange...

Closer to Fine.

So I think I need something. I think I need to lighten up. Is God a God of Grace or not? Of course he is? Does he love me or doesn't he?

He does.

Wisdom is hidden from the learned and given to the children.

Several people (more than I care to admit really) have been trying to tell me that I am too uptight. Too self-depreciating and I am trying really hard to listen to the advice. God has forgiven my transgressions as far as the east is from the west.

I am tired of trying so damn hard.

Taking the advice to breathe, to live, to let my wall down.

Thankyou J, L, M, D, S, D, M, A. (That is a lot of people).

Im trying to tell you something about my life

Maybe give me insight between black and white

And the best thing youve ever done for me

Is to help me take my life less seriously

Its only life after all

Well darkness has a hunger thats insatiable

And lightness has a call thats hard to hear

I wrap my fear around me like a blanket

I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it

Im crawling on your shores