This could be bad....

Dear Friends,

I'm in a jam. Going to Europe on Sunday for a week, and my iPod, my sole source of peace while I travel seems to be broken. Anyone know of anywhere in St. Louis that fixes iPods FAST? A store? A guy somewhere in a basement with a hammer? Anyone want to loan me theirs for a week?

Sincerely,

Desparate in St. Louis

Cry a little

“If I say, ‘I will forget my complaint, I will change my expression, and smile,’
I still dread all my sufferings,” (Job 9:27-28a).

Life isn’t without some divine decisions that our mortal minds simply cannot comprehend. At times, we cannot imagine why God couldn’t have just given us what we asked. Sometimes our frustration lies in the fact that we know He could have, that He certainly had the power, but in His divine wisdom, He chose not to. Hear this with your heart: God knows we can’t think like Him. His ways and His thoughts simply are not ours (Isa. 55:8-9). Sometimes the very essence of faith is trusting God in the midst of things He knows good and well we cannot comprehend. Not that we won’t, but at times we literally cannot.

~Beth Moore

Tasty of Tasties.

It's like a piece of my heart has returned to me.

My dear friend Angela is home from all over the eastern world, and her return has been balm for my soul. I have missed her, and I'm not good at the mushy stuff very often, but she is all that I love in a person. So funny, so real, so compassionate. And to a much lesser degree than most, will act like she doesn't know me when I almost pee my pants in the supermarket after I see a box of cereal called "Organic Gorilla Munch".

Will you stop here and just read that again.

ORGANIC GORILLA MUNCH !!

What in the free world is that? It was like a dream, I looked up and saw the box, with the giant gorilla nostrils and the face staring at me, and I almost lost it. Like just saw it and doubled over and had to like limp over to the box to point out what I was dying at. Gosh I'm sitting here writing this and I laugh out loud. Mark, Murph, Patrick, it's the closest I've been to wetting myself, so if you want to work that into your next attempts at bladder busting, that may be helpful.

Anywho. (Gosh just read it again. Organic. Gorilla. Munch. Wow. I really really need help, let me know if anyone else thinks that's pants wettingly funny... I'd say I'm just easily entertained, but that's just not the case.)

Tonite we did a 'get to know you' interview thingy with Mike and Beth the new DR people, and we had the audience write down questions on index cards, and I, talk-show style, censored and selected the anonymous questions and read them to Mike and Beth. Angelas question was "Do you like bacon?" Had Annie! been there I would have sworn it was her doing. But it was Ange, and yes Mike and Beth DO like bacon*. So after that that was settled, Angela and I got to talking about the increasing numbers of people who have "an unusual proclivity for bacon"** and how there should be a website and T-shirts. I agreed. I mentioned the bacon shaped air-freshener hanging from my rear view mirror, and then we went and made BLTs***.

God knew I needed her back here right now. Needed some fresh air, fresh perspective, and to laugh so hard. It's an amazing thing really, that a person can live in another hemishpere for a year and then come back and it feel like they never left.

Very very good, indeed.

*Wondering at this juncture if Mike and Beth also have an unusual proclivity for Kevin Bacon?
**Quote provided courtesy of Casey Finan's journal entry.
***And yes, we used Farmland thick-sliced bacon. It is the best, after all.

Faces in the crowd

Yeah Todd. This guy was nasty on Defense. Also note the three hottie hot hot fans sitting directly behind him.

And sorry, Liz, Sean Scott is in fact dating Rachel Wacholder.

AVP Y'all

Yes!!! I'm off to the AVP with a few of my nearest and dearest. Chi-town here I come.

Man I love this game. Happy Labor Dabor to me.

Deana, as usual, you are a rock star for organizing the weekend...

My recipe for happy includes yellow and white leather, a couple of people whose names I say with exclamation points at the end, and a minivan.

Heck yes it does.

One of my purest dreams was to play sand volleyball for the rest of my days, maybe even try out for one of these tournaments. But I fear I have waited too long. My body has become too old. A summer of mono, and an inflamed rotator cuff, bursitis-something-something and me losing my real leather volleyball have all sadly put a major damper on the sand borne festivities. Ah well. Will continue to live vicariously through Misty and Kerri.

HE DID IT!!!

My brother Schmustyface Ryan Merrill, after two years of trying, rocked his way into the Remax World Long Drive Competition this weekend by qualifying in Indianapolis with drives of 392, 388, and 385 yards. In some cases, 40 yards farther than any other balls in the round.

WOO HOO!!!! I'm so proud of him and excited* for him.

I'm always ridiculously proud of my bro, so this isn't news really, but he really can hit the little ball a LONG way. I'll definitely keep you posted on the event!!

Very exciting. He is one in 128 peeps worldwide who qualified for this event. He could be on ESPN!!!

*So excited that I may just try to qualify myself since we are going to be down there anyway (it's *much* easer to qualify in the womens division and there is a LOT let money at stake) so I'm going to give it a try... what the heck.

OMGOOGLE!!

Oh man. This is the coolest thing ever!! Google has rocked my world with it's new Google Earth. Go get this for free at earth.google.com and be amazed... 3D rendering of the Grand Canyon or anything else you want to see on the planet earth.

Liz...even You can find your way around with this!!

I Love the Bible...

Clean Garments for the High Priest
1 Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the LORD, and Satan standing at his right side to accuse him. 2 The LORD said to Satan, "The LORD rebuke you, Satan! The LORD, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebuke you! Is not this man a burning stick snatched from the fire?"
3 Now Joshua was dressed in filthy clothes as he stood before the angel. 4 The angel said to those who were standing before him, "Take off his filthy clothes." Then he said to Joshua, "See, I have taken away your sin, and I will put rich garments on you."
5 Then I said, "Put a clean turban on his head." So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him, while the angel of the LORD stood by.
6 The angel of the LORD gave this charge to Joshua: 7 "This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'If you will walk in my ways and keep my requirements, then you will govern my house and have charge of my courts, and I will give you a place among these standing here.
8 " 'Listen, O high priest Joshua and your associates seated before you, who are men symbolic of things to come: I am going to bring my servant, the Branch. 9 See, the stone I have set in front of Joshua! There are seven eyes on that one stone, and I will engrave an inscription on it,' says the LORD Almighty, 'and I will remove the sin of this land in a single day.
" 'In that day each of you will invite his neighbor to sit under his vine and fig tree,' declares the LORD Almighty."

Open House Party

August 28th. 2pm - ??

You, dear readers, are invited.

(Provided you know where it is, and that you actually know who I am)

It's over...

Whew.. back to normal life again. The talk is over and went well, I felt. The mono is gone, I shot baskets in my driveway and am feelin like a champ.

I'm off to Detroit rock city on Tuesday for a couple of days to kick off a new project, one I am very pumped about. Should be good times.

God is good folks... all the time.

Murl out.

Ironic?

I've never really figured out an actual example of something that is truly "ironic" so no need to write letters, but for lack of a better term... It's ironic that I'm getting nervous about speaking at DR Sunday nite, and my topic is Fear...

I'll admit it...

I really want to see that penguin movie.

Heh...

Last post reminded me of my quote wall at work. Some of my favorites...

"I ordered an Italian sub on French bread... I got an Italian salad with French dressing"
Bill, who trusted Tim with his lunch order...

Ken: "They call it a kickoff meeting for a reason" (because it coincided with getting tickets to the KC Chiefs game"
Lindsey: "They should call it a 'sidekick'-off meeting" (as it was to be my debut at a time when I was dubbed "the sidekick")
Ken: "More like an on-side-kickoff meeting"

"What does NFG stand for? Not Fully Grown?" (Me, refering to a Newfoundland Gander airport code sticker on a door of a small of stature co-worker)


And every quote wall since the beginning of time has it.. the quote that launched a thousand quotes:

"What? Are we shooting from the seat of our pants here?" Ken on the speakerphone to J-Ro.. masterfully combining "Flying by the seat of our pants" and "Shooting from the hip"

"Well Said, Old Bean!"

No Reason...

Tried to figure out a reason to use this and tie it into my daily travels....but It just hasn't happened...and I just like it too much not to post it. (it will probably happen tomorrow).


Amendment... Thanks to my roomate, Amy, who reminded me that, the Cap'n Obvious card indeed this is a card to be played on JKM the Fish. She is sitting in our house watching "swordfish" with us and the scene comes on at the end where the guys in the bus attach themselves to a gigantor helicopter. I make a comment about the hutzpah of such a copter, that it would have the power to lift a moving passenger bus off a highway. To which JKM replies matter of factly.. "Oh you know it's one of those 'lifting' helicopters."

Obviously.....

Another example comes to mind just when I ordered my usual chicken chimichanga at our favorite mexican lunch place and my waiter promptly asks me "chicken or beef"?

Uh...

Re: my next tatoo will say moron...on my face

That was the subject line. This why my brother is my favorite person of all time. This is an excerpt of an e-mail conversation I just had with him.


Dusty: "oh let me tell ya. somethin...let me....tell you ....somethin...ok....so i go to the phillips 66 down from the house you know on brentwood...pay at the pump go inside get some red bull...come back get in my car....and take off....with the f**kin pump still in my gas tank and rip the sumbich off....yeah the guys like yeah need your insurance card and drivers license...he just called and said he fixed it...there is a god and his name ironically is chris and he works the morning shift...i swear god man...so im about 50% unpissed from my shitaki morning ive been having..and to boot i had to park on the GD 8th level today...im use to 4.....but things are better....i swear to god man"

Lindsey Replies: "Oh I totally did that once, lucky for us, the connections of those hoses to the pumps are...ahem...what we call in the industry "quick disconnects" (typically) which means they realize that there are morons who will drive a way with the pumps in and they just snap back into place, maybe he took your insurance to make sure you didn't bend it.

That is funny though..."

Dusty Comes back:
"yes apparently it was a disconnectable thing...thank the gas gods in exxonia....but me's and you have the gene in our minds that lets us concentrate on the wrong thing at the right time...its like we think about bigger and better things when we should worrying whether or not we are going to remove the extremely flammable hose from the belly of our 2500 lb raging inferno of power..eh why the hell should we...im thinking " how good my frickin starbucks coffe is going to taste when i get to work and why is the gross national product of peru is on the decline since the CAFTA agreement signed in early february allows all independant unions to supply international suppositories to people with a low risk 401k"

and this is serious
this just in from cody who is in colorado working

he goes back to his hotel a couple nights ago from the bar...there are 8 cops with lights on and the whole 9 yards...he like what is going on? the park ranger tell him there is a bear in their hotel...yes thats right....so cody get excited and goes in to get a better look of course...the bear is in the frikin pool taking a swim...the cops tell him to go back to their rooms and stuff..of course cody says screw that..him and another dude circle back around the building the other way....the bear comes around the same corner after it has been hit with a trank dart and two twelve gauge slugs...its gets to cody and stands on its hind legs and the cops put another cap in it and kill it....cody says...ok then im going to go to my room now and clean the crap out of my britches and you guys just take care of yogi...ok then cya...

how funny is that...



murtis out"

Math for Dummies.

Beautiful. San Francisco. Sweet Lord, Mona, you are right. Went to Sausalito for dinner tonite. Ate spring rolls and salmon at this little place on the water and watched all of the ships cutting in and out of the bay. Little curly ribbons of road wound tightly up the sides of the green mountains. It was impossibly beautiful. The smell of the air was salty, mingled with something else cedary and wonderful. Then we drove up the coast to Muir Woods, home of the giant Redwoods. Breathtaking. Dizzying to look to the tops of the massive trees. I felt at any second those things would come to life and say in a booming Lord of the Rings voice "The park closes at eight". Some of those trees are almost two thousand years old. Foggy, flowery, lush, named after the cookie. Sausalito. I will honeymoon there. Amazing.

Places usually don't affect me that much.

Even my flight out to SF was clear and I could see the country from 15,000 ft. Dry desert, green patches of irrigation, river-carved canyons, mountains that look like rumples in my bed sheets. It was like a painting. So beautiful. So just for me.

As I sat on the plane, I was reading "Mathematics: Is God Silent?"

The answer is most definitely no.

Katie's that I like.

I had the pleasure of listening to Katie sing at Koko and Fabs' wedding. MAN she wails. I always turn into this blubbering mass of emotion when she sings. It's really incredible. She is also one of the most beautiful people I've ever met.

Koko and Fabs are also ridiculously beautiful people. And when I say beautiful, I do mean it in the classic diamond commercial sense, but also in just the pure of heart sense. Never a fowl word have I ever heard either one utter, and I've never known a more graceful, humble pair of people. And good gravy they are so in sync with each other when playing any sort of team sport. They will just shred you to bits playing ultimate frisbee...

"Jealous, Party of One..? Jealous?"

Naw.. more like happy.

More things I like about my friends, and Monkey Lamps

Annie! Came over today and brought me food and a thermometer and cotton balls. Didn't even ask what the cotton balls were for. Annie! has a great laugh and is really really awesome. She is dating my good buddy Markus of the Willie!-file fame on this blog, and they are so stinking awesome. Wah hoo. I heart them both. Annie is her own person and exudes a confidence that is rare. She just is who she is and likes what she likes and makes no apology for any of it. She throws a javelin for crying out loud...c'mon that's flippin cool. She is also a volleyball stud and just wails on the leather. I dig it. No pun intended.

Ashley is one of those closet funny people. You would never know what funny stories this gal could tell you about corn. Ho ho. Cheers a sister right up. She also has this odd proclivity to KICK ASS as random recreational bar games. Like, seriously shes the the best bowler, dart thrower, coaster flipper, shuffle puck-er, pool.. She is so good and that stuff, that I almost hate her for it. Almost...
She is athletic and non-girly-girlish like me, but is really sensitive and sweet. Good mix to be, if you ask me. I'm a big Ash fan.

Pmurph is one of the funniest people God ever put on this earth. He never fails to tell me an off-color joke, or to laugh unjudgementally at mine. Flowers on a piano... heh. But this guy also has a really sweet mushy center that will jump out and suprise you every once in awhile. He wants to help people whenever he can, and shoot the bloke is flippin funny. He asks good questions and really listens when you answer. That is pretty rare.

His girlfriend KTLew is such a breath of fresh air. She is one of the most uninhibited Christians I have ever met, and I mean that in the awesomest way possible. I saw this strip down to her swimming suit in the middle of the nite and slip-n-slide in pig-tails and a blow up swimmy ring at a church retreat. It may have been the most amazing thing I've ever seen. I was like...what 23 year old is that comfotable with herself? It totally freed me up to stop taking myself so seriously and to just have some fun.

Sara is a gal who loves troublemakers. Maybe that's why we hit it off... She likes the at-risk kid and longs to teach them and help them. I love people who just want to give of themselves. I hate that I don't more. I love her spirit and the fact that she played lacrosse in college and wants to coach it. I love the fact that she works nites and the one time I was off during the day she came over to paint my new house with me just so we could get a chance to hang out. She blessed my house with me and DH and it was a moment that just meant the world to me.

Deana, gosh can't say enough about D. She couldn't help me move, but she brought over this cooler of drinks and some snacks for the people that were helping me. I was so amazed at this gesture of thoughtfulness. I didn't ask her to do that, she just did it. It was a god-send, the day couldn't have been any hotter. Thanks so much D-lovely.

Jeff, Julie, Stacey, Casey, DD, Lisa, Ashley, DHolley, D and Sara helped the three of us on moving day and they were all just angels. I definitely was a bit hormonal that day if you know what I mean, so maybe that's why I just wanted to cry all day, but I did just wanted to cry all day with overwhelmed thankfulness. I didn't ask a single one of these people to help, they just offered and I couldn't believe it. I deserved none of this. I have done nothing to merit such kindness, and can probably do nothing to pay back the horrible strain of moving 4 washers and dryers up from my basement. I just couldn't have done it without you guys. In retrospect, I probably could have rented a truck and some movers,(I've seen these guys and they can move full sized sofas on their heads like it's butter) but I didn't.

A special thanks also to Casey who gave me four nites in a row of the use of his truck, home depot nagivational skills, and power washer, then turned around and did the same thing for his sister Katie moving into her new house.

My parents came up last weekend and brought...sheesh... a whole plethora of lawn care apparatuses..apparati? aparteid...apoopoo. Whatever. A bunch of lawn care equipment, there we go. Mowed the grass, weedeated..(what on earth is wrong with me) weed-ate? Ran the weedeater? TRIMMED. Thanks.. yeah. They cut limbs down from around my power lines and pulled weeds, brought me my favorite piece of outdoor machinery of all time, that's right...my very own leaf-blower(Oh JOY), and a picnic table. They took a rat-nasty piece of carpet off my hands and took Schmusty and me to dinner twice.

Mamma murl found TWO MONKEY LAMPS!!! that I haven't seen yet, but that I can only hope remind me of these...
 

These lamps are reminicent of the time that I stole a monkey lamp from my colleauges house. He and his wife hosted our Christmas party two years ago, and I, under the cover of my co-conspirators, jacked this lamp out of his house right from under his nose, i put it up in my office for about two weeks until he came back and exclaimed with shock

George: "Now, THAT is REMARKABLE... It's JUST like mine"
Lindsey pauses with pained grimace on her face, waiting for the light to come on...
George: "Wait that is MY lamp? I didn't even notice!"
Lindsey: "I didn't figure you would..."

Anyway..it gave a nice warm glow to my cubicle that is normally bathed in eye-ball-sucking fluorescent white flickery light. I love monkey lamps, and now i have TWO of my own... but I digress...

Oh yeah. Oh yeah...I was praising my pals and thanking God for giving them to me and for blessing me so much beyond what I deserve. Scott Sauls said to me (well to the congregation at large..but it may as well have been to just me) "It's not the ugliness of sin that we should focus on, but the beauty of righeousness.. the attractiveness of sin and the pleasures and idols of this life can only melt away when you've been romanced by a better lover.."

The God of the universe has romanced me this week.

Whiny Sick-o

Man. I'm sick. I hate it. I'm the worst whiny patient ever too. I've got like monostreptococcusbacillusanthrax or something. Goo. I gotta stop lickin those doorknobs. Big white stripes on my throat and my lymph nodes are in an uproar. My immune system is in a state of anarchy. I will storm the gates of disease with 500mg of Keflex four times daily and I will regale myself to a diet of throat lozenges and popcicles. I don't have time to be sick.

I have to sand and paint things in my garage, and leaf blow things, and build things out of cans to feed the hungry. Not to mention work. I also just got internet access back (whether this is a good thing remains to be seen).

Will you just picture the little buggers, the little germs in my body, having parties, and breaking stuff, tossing cookies on the rug, 'Hey, I just cleaned that'. Pillaging and burninating my white blood cells. Blech.

Picture me all pathetic and achy, and feel bad for me, will ya?

Thanks.

I now have to leave here and go scrape crap off of the wall of my old apartment, aka, the kingdom of the tanlord from hell.

Tanlord:"Uh yeah can you just paint over those spots"
Me: "No, there is no paint left and I have no way to match it"
Tanlord: "Oh you know it was like.. a plum color'..

Thanks that helps...

Tanlord: "I'd have it done, but then I'd have to charge you..."

So I'm taking my swollen nodes over to scrape stickies off a wall and "match" a winey plummy red color of paint. Don't hate me because my life is so exciting. I can't help it.