He's got a girl named Jane with no last name....

This blog site will not become a running commentary on Wash U basketball, I swear, but the B-dawgs pulled off a huge win tonite, putting them in a three way tie for first in the UAA conference. Rock on.

I got rebuked yesterday. Shelly Carson called me out for making fun of this girl who was playing soccer the other nite. Well playing, is a strong word, she was kinda just standing around, but regardless, she was everything I would not be at that point in time. And I railed her for it. It wasn't cool at all, I was a putz, and I am glad Shelly was there to bring me back to reality. Cause as a child of God I am supposed to know that words matter, and words can give life, and they can steal. Why on earth would I choose to tear down and be funny, when I could build up. I'll tell you why, to be cool. What the? Who? Crap. Crap. Crap.

Yeah Jesus still loves me even though I'm a total pile of dust, and on my good days I give no credit to the God that has saved me, shaped me, streched me, and guided me, cause, you know, I, Lindsey freakin Merril have it under control.... But on my bad ones, there is such a blaring awareness of my lack of innate goodness, that I am ashamed, and I look up at the sky as if to say, I bet you wish you crawled down off that cross when you had the chance, cause the betterment of your kingdom and this earth was left in fleshy hands like mine that you gave free will to. What were you thinkin?

Those are not good extremes to live in. Because I know from scripture that there is no condemnation in Christ, and I also know that every good and perfect gift has come from his hands. All my gifts and talents are on loan for an unspecified amount of time to bless or curse the world with.

Yeah, Ray Stevens repertoire... that's probably cursing the world...gotta cut that out...who sings Gitarzan at the noon hour in the Happy China Buffet?

Must choose... Must choose blessing. What on earth? This world doesn't need anymore people being critical and harsh, they need people giving grace and encouragement. My job doesn't need another cynic, it needs someone willing to take chances and fail but to have tried just the same. Gosh isn't that what we lack? People willing to lay down their rights to jaw and taking up their rights to live well.

Speaking of cursing...As I was mimicking Brittany Spears tonite at the Trainwreck, my co-worker Jill looks at me and says "And you're single?" Yes.. yes I am..