Encouraged

I was encouraged tonite.

I had a mini-meltdown after a frustrating day with the parents hunting for houses in the ghetto that is Maryland Heights (today at least...ask me tomorrow). Looked at my list of to do's and hadn't started any of them, forgot to stop by my house on the way to an errand that I needed to do that lost me half an hour, and then had to go to this church function thing; "Let us take some of your time to thankyou for volunteering your time." My attitude was crappy.

I'm worn out. Work is great, but it takes a lot out of me, especially when I travel like I did last week. I'm burnt out and cynical about the state of life and passion in my church and in it's members. All of my firey passionate friends are getting married and settling down, I have nine weddings that I know of this summer and none of them are mine, I'm tired from a service project that had a poor numbers turnout and felt a little bit like a waste of time even though it was fun. My parents are awesome but are a tad insensitive when it comes to touchy matters of being single. So a day with them was less than comforting, and I had a headache.

But..

Went to this thing at the Lodge tonite, and, magically, as soon as I stepped in the door, I felt better. People were smiling at me, not griping about what wasn't happening 'right'. I didn't have to be anything but there. I just walked in, and I didn't have to set up anything, or be responsible for anything, and there were not really any "new" people there. They had food there that I didn't bring. Liz and I switched nametags to be ornery (I KNOW we're CRAZY) I sat with my friends, Stiles and I had a great mini-chat. Sat next to Tom Holley which is always an adventure. Watched some hilarious skits starring the church staff and had some great worship time and took communion. It was so... refreshing? I couldn't believe it. Tom spoke a little, but barely heard him. I don't know. Things have been so uncertain for me lately. I don't know which way is up. Don't know where I'm going to live, or where I'm going to continue to go to services. How my itty bitty breath of life is supposed to best reflect God's glory. It was just great to have my body, my church body, my family, unknowingly lift me up when I needed it so much. Just needed to know that the frustrating service projects and late nites cleaning and bible study preparation matters to them. I know it always matters to God, who sees everything done in secret, but to have some worldly recognition and thankfulness was so... nice. It matters. What we do matters. It does.

Maybe the most encouraging part of the whole nite was the sheer number of volunteers in the room. Tons of people. Not my normal circle of pals, but way beyond that. People I'd never even laid eyes on before, all volunteers, during the course of their week that are busier than mine, people with families, and jobs and stuff, taking their time out to actively love people in a plethora of varied ways. Administration, treasury, youth group, sunday school teachers, worship teams, helps ministers, missionaries, deacons, elders, community group leaders, stevens ministers, manna mommas, set up take down... and on and on and on..

It's what the body of Christ is supposed to look like. With all it's flailing broken, yet justified members. It's why we stick together even when we want to bail. We can't do our jobs alone, or in a vacuum, and we weren't intended to. It's why we bear with one another in love. It's the witness we have to a lonely and cynical, burned out, worn out, overworked, depressed, sad world.

Thankyou Greentree, for being idiots that you are. For being God's idiots. I have been blessed.