Today I get home from being at work pretty late, and then visiting with D, Ash, McKinley, Gretel, Bree and her Boyfriend Ben. It was nice to hang with some familiar faces, and a relatively new one. Ben is in management at the Dial factory, which to me is a fascinating job, we talked nerd for awhile, and THEN I found out He and Bree were going to a DOG SHOW in Bellevegas, It was a nite of many suprises indeed. If I only knew....
I hang out there for awhile, sort of itching to see a movie or do something, had a good convo with the girls, but they both had headaches and took drugs to get to bed. So I come home and am sitting around looking at house listings from my realtor and my Roomate Amy comes home.
We sit and catch up for awhile, I've been working quite a bit and running around, so I hadn't had chance to sit and talk, we ramble for awhile about our normal schtick, and then she mischeviously asks me if I've seen "Buddy" yet. I say "What?" She says, "You didn't see 'Buddy' in there?"
I should stop here and say that Amy and I bond over random things. One certain Veggie Tales song comes to mind where "Pirates who don't do anything" make us crack up. We both have a very vast appreciation for all things juvenile. Another favorite song of ours to the tune of "If you're happy and you know it" goes:
There's a monster on my head and it's red, (clap clap)
There's a monster on my head and it's red, (clap clap)
There's a monster on my head and it's really really red,
There's a monster on my head and it's red, (clap clap)
There's a monster on my shoe and it's blue (rinse repeat)
There's a monster on my arm and it's green (you get the idea)
But "highly entertained" are we, by songs and things of this nature. Most people think we are freaks and nod and slowly back out of rooms where we are.
I should also mention here that I, by nature, am the most easily startled person on this green earth. When I don't hear people move around me, and they 'beam' to places they shouldn't be, it messes with me and I flip out. Arms flailing, heart racing, sometimes there is broken skin and tears. I've cut my leg before when the hot fireman guy at my office merely stuck his head over my cube. I have said before that I just want to issue everyone I know a cowbell to wear so that this unfortunate event never happens again. People at the office have made a sport of it. I'm certain it is how I will leave this earth. Death by startling. Amy knows this.
However tonite she attempted something so cunning and evil in it's nature that gained her, if it's possible, even more of my respect... yeah "Buddy" he's sitting in the living room. My eyes get wide, "Who is in the living room?" "Buddy." I walk in to our living room, (which oddly enough I haven't entered in three days) and I see a stark white face staring at me from the darkness, now, I didn't flip out, or wet myself because I was prepped for the worst, but had I meandered in there of my own accord, that would have been curtains for my bladder and my heart. One of those "My Buddy" dolls which is incredibly Chucky- like in nature was starting back at me. As I looked at him, I turn in slow motion to Amy. "What IS that?" "What if I... What in the?" Nothing. Amy is just laughing. Hard. Amy laughing hard is a thing to see because she can't get her breath and it's sort of a rare occurence. But she pulls him out of the chair and I'm just thanking my lucky stars that I didn't find him alone. I may have died. Then she proceed to tell me that she sits Buddy up in the kids chairs at school back to the door to freak out the cleaning crews. I can't deal with this information properly either.
This launches us into a discussion (after we were done laughing) about the dummies in our lives. My aunt Norma used to have this crazy styrofoam head. She would put a red wig on it, and set it on a box about the size of a torso and put a running suit jacked on it. and prop it up at the dining room table back to the window so if an "intruder" were to look in it would. Obviously run scared. Obviously. I mean styrofoam, it's dangerous to the environment, right? Oooo yah scary chloro-flouro-carbons.... But seriously, this styrofoam head/box/wig combo is enough to send a kid my age into therapy. It was creepy.
Amy topped that one. She used to play this game with her mom where she and her brother would hide somewhere and she would try to find them by using only the lights in the house that were turned on. One day they decided to turn it up a notch and they fashioned a person sized dummy out of towels stuffed in scott's overalls, gloves, boots, and a head was made out of one of those plastic pumpkins upside down with a black ski-mask over it. Their mom came in, and saw the light on the stairs found the dummy person and screamed, threw her purse at it, and knocked the head clean off the dummy, which made her scream louder. This was conveniently planned during a time in their lives when they were getting prank phone calls a la Scream. A very small Amy comes out of hiding and says "we got you mommy". Comic relief... indeed, but a known predisposition for elicting terror in loved ones with the use of props taking on human form.
Should have caught that in a proper roomate screen.
"Liz didn't even notice" she says....
3 comments:
Thanks for the warning. I don't like my laundry looking at me.
I've got a fever and the only cure is more cowbell.
Addendum to this: Buddy, post-laundered, was drying on the back patio. Casey was leaving our house and exclaims rather non-chalantly... "Hey there's a naked Baby on a stool in your backyard."
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