Tired

I'm tired of fighting.
I'm not made for it. But you, Lord, massive, mighty Lord, are in control.
I'm not made to pave my own way.. I'm not built for the war for truth. I'm quite certain I'm not even built for this world. I have tried to become that which life has required me to be.
I've tried hard to be the girl that can take care of herself. But time and time again, I fail miserably.
I try to obtain significance.

Jesus.. if only I believed that you are my sole source of significance.

If I could only convince the world that I AM significant because of you. If only they would recognize your blood on me.

If only I found everyone else in my life as significant as YOU find them to be.

Come, Already! My heart is heavy. It's work to carry it around in my chest. Feels as if I've been given an x-ray apron and instructions to run. If I didn't have this stupid heart, it would be easier. Oh yes easier.

Is it wrong to be so sensitive?

I think PMS kicks my ass every month and I'm suprised by it every time.