Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Plumbing Code...

OK. Plumbing Code: All I was going to say about this is God bless America, and the Webster Groves Municipality. I went online to try to figure out how the )@($&^ to get a bathroom put into my basement. What I found were pages and pages of code.

For my job I often get to sift through pages and pages of code about hazardous materials, fire protection, explosion proofing, midget revolt mitigation and the proper handling and storage of deceased persons. Can get very indepth. HOWEVER, I like that they exist. I like that some crusty old engineer a billion years ago and his cronies sat around a table with torches and a gong and conferred and discussed the intended spirit behind the stack of dead trees that would be the Webster Groves Municipal Code. One day the black smoke rose through the city hall chimney and it was done.
I'm very glad indeed. Iif I sound insincere, I assure you I'm not, I love that there are authorties that exist soley to ensure domestic tranquility. It's a pain to sift through and comply with at times, sure, but there seems to be a desire for building excellent homes, and ensuring safety and correcting mistakes that others have made. Hmm.. seems straw is NOT a good choice for building material. This we learn from the three little pigs. The third one, who built his house out of brick, is now and Alderman. His name is Rex. Anyway. I digress. My point is. I like laws that protect me. I like that God gave us his laws so that the wolf wouldn't eat me. I like that people still try to make order from chaos because it's what we were put on earth to do.

OK Gay Hairdressers: I got a haircut today and I used a new stylist at my normal salon. Don, my former favorite gay hairdresser moved to Phoenix. Ray, the second replacement gay hairdresser was busy tointe, and so I recieved Jeremiah. He was a nice looking man, seemed obviously gay, and very well kept and sharp. We get to talking and he asks me if saw the TV cameras out front. Apparantly they were doing something for the super bowl and asking St. Louisans questions or something, and he commented that his co-worker Angie was interviewed and he was not, he explained that Angie hated being on TV because she always looked like a crazy person, and then he said "I always come out a little too gay"

As I sit and dare not laugh. I did not know how to respond. A minute or so (and by a minute I mean an eternity) passes, and he says "I'm NOT, you know". Sure. He proceeds to explain that he is the proud father of 7 and the grandfather of 3. I was floored. This was obviously the most metrosexual man I'd ever met. How many straight male hairdressers do YOU know?

I just don't know still if he was yanking my chain to see if I'd buy it or not.... he may be having a good laugh as we speak at the naive mid-western gal who bought is pseudo family story.

Who knows. It was awkward theatre at it's best.

OK. New awesome roomate: KT Lew is the best!

OK. Jesus Stuff: Heard a great (maybe the best) sermon I've ever heard today from they guy at the Journey about THE GOSPEL. He said so many great, soul-balmy things, but the best was a tie between these: "Christ lived the life I should have lived, and died the death I deserved to die so that I am able to reap the reward that was to be bestowed on him." Or something to that effect, it wasn't his, it is someone elses quote. The other thing he said was "other religions are books of good advice with a little bit of story thrown in, and Christianity differs and the bible differs because it is really a book of a great story with some good advice thrown in."

I go to church and to my mentors and to my bosses even, and constantly say to them "What should i do now?" "How now shall I live?" "How many old ladies to I have to help across the street until you accept me?" Answer. Silence. Silence. Silence. The cross is a legal transaction. It is not to be minimized but not to be reduced by slapping formulas and rules onto it. It is not to be built into a set of regiments which our own consciences call into constant doubt. It is a humble confidence that there is a God. I am not Him, and he has accepted me on the merits of Christ. Not mine. It's so easy and simple.

I'm free to love and free to neither be insecure or superior around ANYONE. Because Christ is the measure that I could not attain.

I need this truth everyday. For my health.

Ok. Liz is awesome: I'll tell you why as soon as I find out if it's confidential or not.

Ok. Disclaimer: Since I've gotten braces, not only is my speech muddled, and confusing, but my thoughts seem to be as well. I think the metal is interrupting the firing of my synapses. It's really rather weird. That is my defense for everything unintelligible that comes out of my head for the next 6 months. Just so you know.

Ok. Hotel Rwanda: Good movie just saw it on DVD. It's got... Joaquin in it. Of course it does.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

They will know we are Christians by our T-shirts.

"It is easy for Christians to say today, "Well, yes, this is true. We've got to teach the truth, obey the truth, and believe the truth about Christ. And of course, we've got to stop doing the things the world is doing." That is as far as they go. Have you heard Christians get up and testify along this line? They say, "I used to smoke and drink and dance and go to the movies and play cards and gamble and all these terrible things. But I don't do any of them any more. I believe in the Lord. I've stopped all these things." They leave the impression that it ought to make everyone become a Christian, to see such a tremendous change.

But what you discover, soon enough, is that people are not a bit impressed by what you have stopped doing. Not the least bit. Why, worldlings can stop doing these things if they have a good reason. And they do it. If that is the basis of your Christian testimony, you have got nothing more to say than they do. No, the world is not a bit impressed by stopping something. What does impress them is seeing you do something they cannot do. That is love. That is why John says that the third mark of a genuine Christian is that he begins to love---not those that love him (anybody can do that, is Jesus' remark)---but beginning to love those who do not love you; to treat kindly those who mistreat you; to return good for evil and to pray for those who spitefully use you; to welcome and treat kindly those who are against you and are trying to hurt you. This is the mark, isn't it? You no longer treat those who have needs around you with callous indifference, but you respond to them and do not shut them out of your life." --Ray Stedman on 1 John

Monday, January 23, 2006

Curses, Jim !!

I'm apparantly a low-ranking nerd.. Which seems like the worst kind... just cause I can recite the whole periodic table of the elements does NOT make me....


I am nerdier than 61% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Goldi-Linz and the Three Bears

Some say too fat,
Some say too tall,
Some thought her beautiful,
Some thought she "had a good personality"
Some say too smart,
Some say too dumb,
Some say her teeth jutted out at funny angles,
Some say she should have left them be,
Some say "Get that girl a Mic"
Some tell her to keep her day job,
Some say she sucks at her day job,
Some say works too hard,
Some say too lazy,
Some say too loud,
Some say too quiet,
Some say too messy to be healthy
Some say too clean to be happy,
Some think her a saint,
Some know shes a sinner,

She thought she was all wrong,

He thought she was just right.
He said:

"Just to be with you, I'd do anything, theres no price I would not pay.
Just to be with you I'd give anything, I'd give my life away."

She said "Sweet, I'll listen to you instead."

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Not Your Usual

WU LOST TO NYU. Blech. NYU is the quintessential "bad" guy of all sports movies ever made. They wear black shoes and black socks, have black uniforms edged with purple, and wear their greasy hair slicked back into tight little ponytails. And, in general, are thugs. The white team lost this time, and deserved to lose it, they had no fight in them. Came close to pulling it back out, but did not.

As I sat with my left knee throbbing with sympathy pains, I decided I didn't miss it that much.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Ol' Blue Eyes on the Journey:

But not as sad as it sounds:

Thanks for the memory
Of things I can't forget
Journeys on a jet
Our wond'rous week in Martinique
And Vegas and roulette
How lucky I was

And thanks for the memory
Of summers by the sea
Dawn in Waikiki
We had a pad in London
But we didn't stop for tea
How cozy it was

Now since our breakup I wake up
Alone on a gray morning-after
I long for the sound of your laughter
And then I see the laugh's on me

But thanks for the memory
Of every touch a thrill
I've been through the mill
I've lived a lot and learned a lot
You loved me not and still
I miss you so much

Thanks for the memory
Of how we used to jog
Even in a fog
That barbecue in Malibu
Away from all the smog
How rainy it was

Thanks for the memory
Of letters I destroyed
Books that we enjoyed
Tonight the way things look
I need a book by Sigmund Freud
How brainy he was

Gone are those evenings on Broadway
Together we'd go to a great show
But now I begin with the Late Show
And wish that you
Were watching, too

I know it's a fallacy
That grown men never cry
Baby, that's a lie
We had our bed of roses
But forgot that roses die
And thank you so much

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Good Things

Randoms fragments of my past few days: Car broke, car fixed. Brother moving out, sad. Kaite Lew moving in, happy. Really bad day at work last week. Really fantastically fun office Christmas Party shennanigans this past weekend. Long story short, I was the killer in the murder mystery dinner theater thing, and the acting troupe offered me a job.

I'm off to Philly this week for a work thing, and seeing a good friend in the process, would love to get into see Body Worlds (that thing we tried to see in Chicago, but realized it was nearly impossible to get in without a reservation... at 10:30 pm the place was packed.) but looks like they are sold out again.

I have reverted back to junior high and have my third set of braces. Which means I'm into keylime yogurt and making up code words for people telling me I have junk in my teeth. i.e. "there are escapees caught on the fence" or "the cheerleader got stuck in the hoop"

I am knee deep into Season Five of the West Wing and still have an inappropriately high interest in Josh Lyman. The world is a great place when I can stick a DVD into my laptop and take it down stairs with me, fold laundry, and then take it back upstairs without missing a syllable of the witty banter. My kinda Sabbath.. heck yeah.

Life is life, God is Good, all the time.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Today, I was wearing an ancient pair of pants. I notice that the teeth to my zipper had ripped away from it's fabric. The zipper still works, but wasn't attached to the pants on one side.

I just recently got braces which has regaled me to a liquid diet and over-frequent trips to the bathroom. The fly issue was bugging me (since I was seeing it so often) and not to mention had the potential of exposure at any moment. Normally, that wouldn't bother me, because it wasn't gaping open, but we had clients in the office today, so after restroom trip number 5, I get the brilliant idea to just staple my fly shut.

Ask me if I took a staple puller with me on trip 6? ...I didn't.


I should apply to be a carnie.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Cutting Edge

Oh.. and just in case you were wondering. Diet Black Cherry Vanilla Coke = Good.

It's so new I couldn't even find a picture. I'll have to take one myself.

Oh.. AND I know some of you were wondering what the big deal was with coke zero? I figured out that it's got 0.7 calories per can. Which, I feel, is misleading. Marketing Bastards! That is not zero...

Some other random ingredients differ too including slightly less sodium, but I don't know if it tastes different than DC or not.

Regular Diet Coke has 1 calorie. I could have sworn it's also listed as zero calories on the can...

Now you know.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

20 Years of Fahey

I think there are some events in our lives that words definitely can't do justice to. For me one such event was being a part of Washington University's Womens Baskeball Team. Tonite was alumni night. It also marked Coach Fahey's 20 season coaching the bears.

This lady is amazing. I really don't know how to do her justice. She was so good at what she did. She made families out of perfect strangers, people who would never dream of getting along otherwise. She reached the top of every category of excellence possible in her field, and never lost sight of the fact that we were just college kids, so book-smart and so life-stupid, and somehow, never forgot that it was indeed, only a game. Just putting a ball through a hole, and keeping someone else from putting a ball in a hole. That's why it doesn't make sense, that the sum of it's parts don't add up to the whole of what it was. Why she chose to treat us like her kids instead of like her slaves. She didn't have to. Most coaches are all about the win, they don't have to explain their choices, but ours always did. She was fair and honest and one of the most moral people I have ever met, and still got the wins. (458 to be exact). I just love celebrating people who "do it right". It can be done.

Coach, I salute you.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

It was the Best of Times...

I've tried three times to write this post.
2006 is finally here.

Kids. 2005 was pretty hard for me. The hardest year of my life. Definitely the best year of my life.

Sometimes you bleed just to know you're alive.

But out of the ashes came so many good things. I am starting to feel comfortable looking back at the pain of last year with new, dare I say, healed eyes to see it, instead of a soul so hurt and disoriented that it wanted only to tap out of everything so it didn't get beaned again.
Good news is I figured out a TON about myself. Figured out a TON about images and perceptions. Ones that I had of me, ones that I wanted other people to have of me, and ones that were actually true.

God saw me from day one playing house with him. Playing the Christian game, trying to act the part and He hated it, but He didn't hate me. He chose some events to make my faith real, to make it the bottom line versus the bonus line. To test my loyalties and smash my idols.

I worshipped the sacred raisin cakes.

But I'm farther than where I started in 2005. I'm nowhere near perfect, but I'm better than I was. And I guess that is really all any of us ever get to say.

With that said.. I leave you with my Best Moments of 2005:

Best Advice: "Don't be like Jesus, be with Jesus. It's the only way you will change."
Best Movie: "Walk the Line" and "Pride and Prejudice".
Best Coach Z-ism: "Chocolate Chorp Porn Cakes" by Mark Williams.
Best First TV Commercial: Liz Forsythe for Ameren UE.
Best new Blog friend: Bercos via Elisa via Shearman.
Best Meal: San Francisco, Valentines Day, Sushi Village, me, hot sake, 8 male co-workers, and the Sashimi boat.
Best Day: Uh.. Daylight savings day.. as usual. It was a hook-blade day.
Best New Marriages: Stiles, Millers, Murphys, Koziateks, Bethels, McKinleys, Woodards, Wilmots, Fabbianos, DeChamps. Rices.
Best Question by a Brit: (Say it with the accent) "Why is Markus sticking his head in the DMV and yelling 'Hammer Down'?"
Best "Old" Marriages: Wylies, Merrills, Holleys, Keyes.
Best Proposal: Annie! and Willie! (and me...I planted the brick... you know at the aporx.)
Best new Relationship: Jane and Casey, Leigh and Dave
Most Frequent User of the word "Turd": Kendra
Fastest courtship: Dee Dee and Shaun (engaged!)
Slowest recovery: Me over my Mono. (not to be confused with Moon over my Hammy)
Sadest goodbye: Packing Deana's furniture up from the DMV, and The Foxes last DR.
Best Purchase: Somewhere between my house and the Two-person Hammock.
Funniest joke about oven knobs: Jim and Brad at Jim's dinner party with the "Balls Hot" setting.
Closest to peeing myself: Organic Gorilla Munch.
Mom closest to peeing herself: Laughing at my dad in
Best quote by a spiritual mentor: "Whoa Lindsey, God needs Clay, not Claymation..." Debbie Holley to me when I was jabbering on and on about something too fast.
Best news: D getting her job, and Caroline getting pregnant.
Best DR talk:
Scott Sauls 04/24
Best Smallest Group: The Murphys heck yeah.
Best Road Trip: Melinda and I getting lost in the sketchy area of San Francisco, then driving up to Saulsalito.
Largest number of Chocolate martinis in one sitting: Four. (They are like Pudding pops melted into a glass)
Best Return from a Foreign Country: Angela, back from India.
Best Return from a non-foreign country: Mia Lucia back from Indy.
Best Gift: Lucinda Williams concert for my Birthday, Deana bringing the cooler of bervages over when I moved, Tall Socks from Annie just because, and "The Neverending Story" on DVD from myself.
Best Statement from a person of Flava: "Girrrrrl, Now you a Nice size. Not too big, not too skinny, you a nice size"
Best Use Of Labels:
Best Performance in an Amateur TV event by an immediate family member: Jury still out.
Best Use of Bacon: Someone wrapped a baby in it an left it on my doorstep.
Best fake "Best": That last one.
Best real "Best": This one, because it is the last one.

Off to make some new ones.

I love ya Tomorrow... you are only a day away.