Today, I was wearing an ancient pair of pants. I notice that the teeth to my zipper had ripped away from it's fabric. The zipper still works, but wasn't attached to the pants on one side.

I just recently got braces which has regaled me to a liquid diet and over-frequent trips to the bathroom. The fly issue was bugging me (since I was seeing it so often) and not to mention had the potential of exposure at any moment. Normally, that wouldn't bother me, because it wasn't gaping open, but we had clients in the office today, so after restroom trip number 5, I get the brilliant idea to just staple my fly shut.

Ask me if I took a staple puller with me on trip 6? ...I didn't.

...Idiot.

I should apply to be a carnie.