Friday, July 31, 2009

Look out, World's Fair!

New Irish Golfer Friend:  "Lindsey, is it?"
Lindsey:  "Yes."
NIGF:  "Ah, lovely.  Where in the states are you from?"
Lindsey: "St. Louis, Missouri"
HIGF:  "Oh, like the 'Sex and the City', right?"
Lilndsey:  "No. Um.. I think that is New York"
NIGF:  "No no... you know the girl...from St. Louie?"
Lindsey:  Lightbulb turning on.  "OH yeah!... her Assistant LOUISE, who is from St. Louis, yes, yes, that is right."
Who knew that the Sex in the City movie has put St. Louis on the international map again?

Thursday, July 23, 2009

10 Things I learned in Ireland.

Story of the picture below. I took a picture of this window because first time Jack and I passed by this particular box window, which is about four stories above a busy intersection, there was a little boy about 9 or 10 standing in this window buck naked. He was drumming his chest and just staring out ...presenting himself to the world. Jack said all the kid needed was a bow and arrow to be a cherub or something. It was so very strange. Cool little video about barrel making on the Guiness tour. Hazing for barrel makers included being shoved into one of these barrels filled with poo and getting rolled down the street. That is how they knew they were worthy to be 'one' of the gang.

I like to track things that are quirky about cultures because they interest me. I do this often. See here, here, and here. Here we go.

1. Crosswalks are deadly. In Switzerland, the pedestrian, and even moreso, the cyclist were king. In Ireland, you better look the other other way. You can't see the drivers menacing "i'm gonna nail you" glare because you aren't looking for it in that side of the car window.

2. Pudding, I think, means sausage. Hmm.

3. In the grocery stores, the ones in shopping malls, they charge you for plastic bags and discourage the use of plastic bags entirely. This may be a good idea. Jack had a better idea, he stole the produce bags in the back of the store and stuff them in his pockets. That's why they pay him the big bucks.

4. The weather man in Ireland has the easiest gig ever. "Cloudy with a chance of rain...everyday. It will be either 64 or 65 degrees today... we are all on pins and needles."
5. At an Indian restaurant I got a Diet Coke with a mint sprig in it. Lovely.
6. Even the toilet water in Ireland is Green.
7. No offense to the Irish at all, they have been very warm and kind people, but I think people in places take on the identity of the weather where they live... that kinda makes sense. The Swiss were Cold, the Irish are kinda dreary yet mild (see note 4), the people from St. Louis are one extreme after another.
8. Ireland is pretty far north. Read: in July, sun streams in at 5 am, and until 10:20pm (i timed it).
9. Guiness apparently tastes better in Ireland because the Irish are the only ones who know how to serve it. They CIP the pipes regularly, so that the stout doesn't sour. I think Guiness is still horrid, but it is now bearable with the tip that a shot of black currant can sweeten it right up.

10 This has nothing to do with Ireland. I just learned a useful tip...drink bitter beers with the bitter part of your toungue. Sweet Sippin' Sally over here coulda used that information years ago. It makes all the difference in the world to throw it to the back of the throat, avoiding the sweet area of the tongue. It does help choke down a guiness. Wish I had that information when 17 natives were watching me drink my first pint.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

A Very Short Story, by Lindsey Merrill.

This morning as i got into work, I realized i needed to use the loo. I went into the bathroom and noticed the frothy green toilet water left over from the morning cleaning.

I then noticed a rather large ker-plunking sound.

I looked down at the green frothy water (yes everything here in Ireland is green) and saw no ripple in the bowl, nor could i see anything beneath the froth.

However I had a horrifying thought about what could have just happened. So on a whim, you could say, by faith, with no proof of what was down there, only the knowledge that if what i thought was down there, was indeed down there, there wouldn't be a second to lose, I jammed my hand down into the frothy green water and grabbed.

It was there. My heart sank into the sea-foamy depths of Eire despair.

I dropped my iPhone in the toilet.

It's ruined. Well maybe not all is lost, i did get it turned off quickly. Maybe there is hope...but no hope for phone calls anytime soon.

You would think I'd be heartbroken, but you know.. i think I'm secretly impressed with myself. I mean I have had that phone AWHILE. And I'm JUST now dropping it in toilet water? I gave myself three weeks tops before doing something asinine like this. It's kinda like when I didn't kill my fish for a few years. Snuggles lived a good long life.

As it is with this phone.


Thursday, July 09, 2009