Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Oh, Just Swimmingly.

I have been meaning to blog for awhile now. I'll have to thank Dusty for usurping my shower tonight so I am sitting here thinking about my new years resolutions.

Update on quiet times:

I have only carved out intentional time for the Creator Of The Universe about twice since the new year, BUT the intent is still on. I'm still going to make it a priority. It NEEDS to be a priority... see exhibits A thru C:

Update on listening more and interrupting people less:

I still interrupt incessantly. I feel worse about it now though. Oftentimes I tell people (I interrupt them) to tell them that I am sorry for interrupting them. This doesn't seem to be quite getting the spirit of the thing... but I am not giving up.

I'm actively trying to listen better, I can tell that I am improving a little. For example, my brother (who is and always has been very into shows about nerd stuff: geology of the earth, string theory, pandas,) was just telling me that there are these tribes of monkeys that live in secluded caves in Africa have learned to hold their breath for inordinate amounts of time and have learned to swim. I had to stop him and tell him that I was not listening. Honesty...that is progress right? I definitely told him again when he started telling me about bears that I was not listening. If I'm not looking at you I'm probably not totally focused. But I'll be more likely to tell you I am not focused. It's a pathetic start, but a start nonetheless.

Update on another thing I am not sure I called out as a resolution before, not being a total harsh bitch to the people I love the most:

Utter failure. Still doing that. In a most self-righteous style too. Apparently, still when I am my most hormonal, I am my most awful, my most "Pink" in that song "Please don't leave me". I have been saying for awhile that God knew that I would need lessons in not being harsh, so he has put some extremely sensitive people in my life to help me select my words better, but maybe they are just normal people and I am abnormally harsh, and he put the most graceful people in my life to love me anyway.

I have probably just figured out that I spent some formative years (and some latter years) in some fairly high-stress situations where I wasn't really given the opportunity to have any emotional responses to anything said to me. "For a group of people to work effectively, there has to be rules, those rules have to be followed." Right? Wrong. Corporately speaking, yes I agree still with that philosophy. On an individual level, though, especially around my own short comings, NO one was EVER harsh with me. I'm left with no plausible excuse. Even if I speak to the world the way I legitimately hear it speaking to me first, that isn't right either. So to you (you ALL know who you are, or were...yes you.) I am sorry. In the "Speak the Truth in Love" equation... I usually lack at least one at all times. Can we "Chat the Truth in Love?" Not very well.

So this do-er of the Word thing isn't going so well yet. I shall try again.

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