This past weekend for my mother's birthday, I thought I'd do something extra special for her by trying to kill her.
I decided to make french toast for breakfast. The boys were gone in Atlanta and it was just the two of us for the day so I had her fire up the griddle and she sprayed oil on it for me. She then sat down and drank her coffee while I mixed up the stuff, and make the finest french toast I've ever made. She even commented 'Lindsey this is really good.. No I'm serious. On a scale of one to ten.. YOU are an Eleven.'
No she didn't really say that, but she did like it. And I liked it too, cleaned up every last bit. As I sat there fat and happy, my mom, who had started to clean up the kitchen turns to me and asks:
"Lindsey! Why is the cap off of the furniture polish?"
[Pause]
"Well, I suppose it's because I just made the french toast in it. "
We laughed the slightly crazy laugh of people who didn't know if they were going to die or not.
The cooking spray that she used, got put away unbeknownst to me... and I just grabbed the nearest spray can which just happened to be sitting on the island next to the griddle... and happened to be Gordmans Furniture Polish. Yummy.
Ingredients; Natural Oils, Surfactants (fancy word for 'soap') , UV sunscreen, and propellant. I think we'll be fine. I think.
I should do a commercial for them:
"Guardsman Furniture Polish with UV Sunscreen cleans, polishes, and helps furniture resist fading caused by exposure to sunlight. Guardsman polish protects while producing a deep, brilliant shine with a fresh wood scent and does not leave a dulling wax, on your french toast."
"Thankyou and Goodnight."
5 comments:
That is funny. I am glad you are well. It is surpsing it didn't catch fire.
It was odd. I was thinking to myself... "This oil isn't working very well, and it was kinda foamy and burned off pretty quickly"
One for the ages...
was this furniture polish lemon scented? if so, that could have given the toast a special (how you say) zesty tastiness.
the real question, i believe, is
"would that french toast have blessed tom cruise?" because as you well know he practically rules the world.
forget paris hilton, you should have your own show.
Hilarious. Just as good as the french toast. My mom once made meat balls for spaghetti using cinnamon instead of chili powder, and they were actually quite good (this was before my vegetarianism). The lesson from this story and yours is simple. I miss you.
No, no. YOUR are excellent.
As is delicious, delicious furniture polish.
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