Today I tried to break my legs off at the shins. I was moving cubicles from my stuffy corner to a new one with a nice big view of a dirty window. I had the bottom file cabinet drawer open and I turned to quickly in my new surroundings and forgot it was there, somehow wedged both my feet under the drawer, and my upper body kept going, arms windmilling trying to stop that forward momentum. I, somehow, managed to unwedge my feet from the carpet and sort of handstand tuck and roll over it before I broke any bones. It was scary, but totally hilarious. A few things, I think, contributed to this event...
A. I had my shoes off because my legs were bothering me from overdoing it at Physical Therapy so i was shuffling around a little like Estelle Getty in a penguin suit all day. I think if I had kept my heels on, I wouldn't have gotten myself wedged under the drawer. (I have a couple of nice bruises on my shins to match the contact dermatitis I have acquired from doing PT with the latex stretchy bands. It throbs and flashes like a little neon sign on my ankle. Soo preeety.)
B. Brian* my Physical Therapist. He's tiny has an adorably slight lisp and plays Rugby. He is super nice, and says he's impressed with my drive and willingness to work hard. I let that go to my head fairly regularly but then I realize he also works with six-year-olds and sixty-year-olds and people recovering from carpal tunnel from using the TV remote. Brian also runs marathons and he's a male, so I'm pretty sure he isn't that "imprethed" with me. I digress. Basically my pride is the reason I increased the weight when I shouldn't have, I would like to blame Brian, and perhaps I will. Two days ago I could touch my toes (which is HUGE improvement for me) and today I can't straighten my leg even if i'm standing straight up. I have toxic hamstrings and I have been muttering "Oil Can" all day. It's a such a strange, deep, chemical soreness that I can't accurately describe how painfully annoying it's been and how slowly I am moving. (Wait! No I did, Estelle Getty, penguin suit...but maybe she is also on acid).
C. Coworkers seem to think this final factor played the biggest role in the 'near miss'. I was at the office at 6am today. Scratch that, TEN TIL 6am. Today. In the MORNING. yeah.. ME. Talking to India on a conference call. I don't even like talking to America before noon. By the afternoon I was almost delirious from being awake so early and was sneezing from inhaling the dust I'd generated from the office move.
All of these together are why I decided to leave work at 3 and sleep for two hours. I need this upcoming Vegas vacay.
* Does anyone else always type "BRAIN" first when trying to spell '"BRIAN"??
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