Tuesday, February 17, 2009

How My HG Loves Me.

For the longest time I have gone without the counting of the blessings. Why is that? I don't know.

Since the Valentines Day tulips are still alive, I am going to take a minute to be supremely mushy and thankful for my community. I had house group that tonight I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with thankfulness for. (I also can't seem to help ending sentences with prepositions.) These people I often take for granted, but I would not trade them for anything, and I hope they know it.

The Scene. I am driving. I have dry, itchy, watery, eyes, severely chapped lips and a nasty seven-day cough, and I am not sure why I can't find this house on Swon avenue. I have been to this house twice before and I still do not know how to get there. I am debating not going because I am so very feeling sorry for myself and like a giant wet blanket. I have millions of things I should be doing and I just learn that my favorite great-aunt just broke her hip (playing hide and seek with her grandson, hallelujah!? What a life-filled lady.) I am feeling like I usually talk too much at group and should just sit there all pouty and non-contributory to the discussion of Daniel at hand. We sometimes go on tangents and I can often be the ring-leader of tangents. Just sit there and absorb, Lindsey...geez.

As I circle around Webster University, cursing my poor sense of the little details, I swallow my pride and call "Annie!" on her cell. I lament, "Ok. I can't seem to find this place EVER!" She laughs her beautiful 'Anne' laugh and hands the phone to Adonna to guide me. I always feel ashamed when I am late. I would have left work earlier, but the boss caught me, yadda yadda. So I spin the wheel and head the correct direction and Adonna tells me it's no big deal as I apologize probably a little too profusely. I feel a tad better.

I pull up to the house and Hank the handkerchief-sporting basset hound greets me with his droopy eyes and funny little crooked leg. I am not the last one there (true sigh of relief). The table is full of people I am genuinely glad to see and Adonna asks me if I want food. HELLO? Of course I do. She makes me a cheeseburger with caramelized onions and gave me some TOTS to go with it! Holy Mama, it was yum. Wayne pushes me the ketchup bottle and I polish it all off with a 'Koka Kora'. Markus tells me other unfortunate broken hip stories and I laugh. He laughs too, somehow he always 'gets me' and I love that. We swap more stories as Deana and Ashley arrive and they are much rested and alive since spirit week is over and Ashley's comedic timing makes me laugh so hard. Deana pats me on the shoulder, happy to see me.

Jael and George are here by now and we are complete. Jael is wearing her hair curly and Geo is tired from work. He misses his fam, as he has recently made the sacrifice from freelance-work-from-home-guy to full-time-life-sucking-office-employment and is still adjusting. Well that is putting it mildly, he misses being with his wife and his "itty bitties" (their kids, Zane, 6, and Grier, 3.) I would be remiss if I didn't stop here and mention that Jael and Geo were my Valentines this year. On the dreaded day for the singleton, they invited me into their home to watch the kids while they had some time out of the house. They came back and made me a delicious dinner. It was divine.

I would be further remiss if I didn't also mention that Anne and Mark had a very "Willie!" Valentines Day as well. They went to White Castle, where apparently they put table cloths on the tables, hire wait staff, take reservations only, asking the random passers-by to get their orders to go.

Anywho. Back to HG....

We hear about cat adoptions and Ashley's dog's love for my brother. Deana flops in a chair and tries to finish up some grading so her students don't have to ask her again if their tests are done. Adonna brings out a gigantic platter of chocolate cake and tells tales of a funeral for Wayne's aunt from the previous weekend. Flower arrangements from the funeral and valentines day still perfume the room. Yes, I am happier to be here.

Anne has worked hard to put together our study for tonight and it's about Daniel just faithfully doing his thing and God constantly showing himself faithful in amazing ways. I still marvel at the Bible's "echos". Jael gave us that beautiful word "echos" to describe how the themes resound and resound and resound. How themes repeat and how symbols show up again and again from the same Source.

This time the light was turned on for me about the story Abraham and Isaac, how confused and angry I get at God when he asks Abraham to sacrifice his own son, this particular story has never made any sense to me. Then Anne, in a beautiful tangent, just casually compares that scene to God himself sacrificing his very own Son, Jesus, as, ahem, The Point. Aha moment. I'm ecstatic to be here, now. The bible is so beautiful and I love studying it. I truly do.

Fast forward to us as we came to a passage of scripture that incited the touchy subject of "little stuff we do wrong" Instead of making self-righteous statements or making people feel guilty or commanding that everyone change right then and there, and pay for cable and stop speeding, etc., and signing a pact or something. We just spoke honestly about the heart issues and let the words hang like the cutting and healing sword of truth in the air, free to be grasped by anyone, but forced on no one.

I laughed so much, learned even more about this Book that I love to ignore, was loved on, and somehow maybe my presence actually wasn't just that of a vacuum. I am so lucky to have this time and this group. I do love you all and you all love me well, separately for sure, but all together it's so much more.

Tonight I am still tired, itchy-eyed, coughing and chapped, but now I am full.

2 comments:

rachel blazer said...

i've never read your blog before... but this made me get a little teary. in a happy way & a longing way at the same time. and i'm thankful that you have a group that loves you & has you to love them. : ) thanks for sharing...

Linz said...

Aw.. Thanks for the words, Rachel.